SUNDAY WITH THE CHURCHMEMBERS

The hands on the clock had slowly crept toward 9 a.m. , and the bright morning sun was already looking in the window. Suddenly, Luke W. Churchmember sat bolt upright in his bed. With a start he thought, "I'll be late for work!" Then it dawned on him - "why this is Sunday!" With a contented yawn he settled back into the warmth of his comfortable bed to catch another "40 winks." "Oh well," he thought, "class doesn't start for another hour anyway." He was tired, as he and his wife were out with bro. and sis. Dea­con until 2 a.m. last night, and also the children were out late. "By the way," thought Luke, "I wonder where they went and who they were with?"

Finally, his conscience made his body get out of bed. He woke his wife and chil­dren, reminding them that "we haven't studied our Bible lessons yet." You see, he had a club meeting during the week, a night out for bowling, a night to visit friends, a night for PTA, and, well ...he just didn't have an evening free to study. After a leisurely breakfast (and a hurried glance at their Bible lessons) the Church member family was about ready to leave for class. Luke reminded his family, "classes start at 10 a.m , and it’s 5 minutes till, so we'd better leave." "I guess we'll be a little late," said the good wife of Luke, "but after all, its such a job to get around on Sunday morning!”

At 10:10 a.m. the Churchmembers drove up to the building. The classes were well under way when they went in. Only about half the class looked around to see who came in, causing the other half to completely miss what the teacher was saying. After crowding into a pew (near the back) by bro. and sis. Deacon, Luke nudged the fellow on the other side, and with a loud whisper said, "exactly where are we studying... we missed last week, you know." With Luke dozing off and on during the class, it at last neared its end. Sis. Churchmember leaned over and whispered to sis. Deacon, "I just love bro. Elder's classes - why did you notice that he covered almost three whole chap­ters of Romans?" "Yes," replied sis. Deacon, "but I just couldn't keep my eyes off that new hat sis. Banker has. I won­der how much she paid for it?"

After class, the place came alive with chatter that had to do with the week's events. Bro. Churchmember argued with bro. Goodtime over who would win the World Series. Most of the ladies were dispensing and accepting the latest gos­sip. Nobody seemed aware that the wor­ship was about to start. Finally, a brother got up and made announcements.  After the communion was over, bro. Church­member grudgingly dropped $5 in the collection plate to sooth his conscience and settled back to hear what the preach­er had to say, which took all of 20 minutes.

At last, services were over, and the Churchmember family started home. "I sure do like our new preacher, bro. Back­slapper," said sis. Churchmember. "So do I," said Luke. "He's not at all like our old preacher, bro. Peter Paul. Why he would preach for 45 minutes at a time, and was always against something." "Yes," interrupted sis. Churchmember, "and he actually had the nerve to tell some people they were going to be lost if they didn't straighten up. Doesn't he know that people don't like negative preaching anymore? I wonder who made him a judge?" "Yes," said Luke, "I'm sure glad we're rid of him. He was too narrow... thought we had to have what he called 'Bible authority' for the things we do in religion."

After lunch, the Churchmembers decided to take a drive in the country. Finally, Luke looked at his watch. "My, how time flies. We'll never make it back in time for evening services. Oh well, once a week is enough anyhow." His wife said, "yes, and there's a new movie on ,­TV the kids wanted to watch tonight anyhow."

After the movie was over and the chil­dren were in bed, Luke's wife said, "I sure have enjoyed the day." "Yes," re­plied Luke, "so have I - and isn't it won­derful to be a Christian?"

And God looked down from heaven on all this entire scene during the day, and said, "Huh? Are these children of mine? I had planned on sending my Son back for his second coming tonight. I wonder if they will treat him like they treated me today?" Are you a member of the churchmember family - or totally devoted and dedicated to God? Christ might come tonight! - Bill Moseley

 

 

I don't like "diet soft drinks." They don't taste good to me, and the old "I'll guarantee you can't taste the difference" line is so old by now I'm surprised people still use it to try and convince me I ought to try their favorite diet soda pop! (By the way, I can tell the differ­ence between "decaf" and the real thing too ­just in case you want to invite me over for coffee sometime).

All of which goes to say not very much - ex­cept that most folks can tell the difference be­tween, sugar and saccharine.

Sort of reminds me of the fellow who forgot his wife's birthday. He got out of his predica­ment by telling her: "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you don't look any older?" You don't seriously think she fell for that line! She knows the difference between "sugar and saccharine" - every woman does when it comes to her age.

And about your compliments to others - are they sincere or merely affected? Do you mean it, or are you just trying to get on the good side of somebody? Again, most folks can tell the difference between "sugar and saccharine." Make sure when you say some­thing good about folks its the "real thing," Anything else is hypocrisy, and life is one area where saccharine simply won't work! It needs to be sweetened with the real thing, or else we need to keep our big mouths shut. - Bill Moseley