Dealing with others is not always easy. What should I say? How much should I believe of what I hear? Is there another side to the story I've been told? Am I being fair in my dealings with others? These and other questions must be answered.

When we deal with others there is always the potential for differences to arise. When those differences come it is easy to forget to use some common sense rules in our conflict. We are not always as fair in dealing with those we disagree with as we are in defending ourselves or those with whom we agree.

For some time I have been thinking about how brethren treat one another. I have thought about how many problems are simply misunderstandings. It seems to me that we are not always as careful as we ought to be. As I have thought and talked With others, some basic rules come to mind that we ought to follow.

1. PRAY FOR WISDOM (Jas. 1:5). If there is any time we need wisdom it is when we deal with those with whom we disagree. Let us pray that we may have the wisdom to know: (a) how to approach others; (b) what we should say and what we should not reveal; (c) what I should believe and what I should reject of what I hear; (d) the good that is in other people, and (e) how slow or fast I need to be in my conclusions.

2. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY. Any of us could easily get carried away and say things that we would later wish had not been said. The proverb writer said, "He who restrains his lips is wise" (Pro. 10:19). We must be careful what we say to and about others. It may be information that others have told us in confidence. It may be that the one to whom we give the information may not honor our request to keep in confidential. Let us be "slow to speak" (Jas. 1:19) knowing that "a tale bearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter" (Pro. 11:13). We don't have to tell all we know. "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back" (Pro. 29:11).

We must be careful how we choose our words. Let’s make sure we are conveying the right idea. If we are not cautious, our words can be like the “piercing of a sword” (Pro. 12:18). We must watch what we say and how we say it. Remember, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Pro. 15:1).

Let us also be careful lest we say something detrimental to others. “The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor” (Pro. 11:9; cf. v. 13; 20:19). It is possible that I could be telling things about others when I do not have all the facts. What I say could destroy the name and reputation of others.

3. THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. In some situations there is some fault on both sides. Thus, both of the parties at odds have some legitimate points. However, there are some situations where the two sides are the right side and the wrong side. Still, there are two sides.

The questions I must ask myself are: Am I listening to and believing the wrong side? Am I taking the wrong side? Have I considered the other side of the story? There may be more that I need to know before I draw my conclusions and state them. The proverb writer said, “The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him” (Pro. 18:17). Whoever tells his side first makes it sound good.

4. DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. Too often we take a little information and fill in more gaps than are there. We can easily assume motives that we have no way of knowing. I wonder how often our talk and criticism about others would change if we deleted everything but the real facts that we know.

The proverb writer warned, “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him” (Pro. 18:13). Let us not be hasty in our words (Pro. 29:20).

5. GIVE OTHERS THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. Love “believes all things” (1 Cor. 13). It gives a person the benefit of the doubt. That means when a questionable situation arises where you could put more than one construction on it, believe the best. When a problem arises and you can put either a good or bad motive on it – believe the best. After all, don’t you want others to do that with you (Matt. 7:12)?

Yes, these rules are simple. But, with a little application we can avoid a lot of friction and misunderstanding. – Donnie V. Rader

 

 

 

"There was a division therefore among the Jews for these sayings. And many of them said, He hath a devil, and is mad: Why hear ye him? Others said, These are not the words of him that hath a devil. Can a devil open the eyes of the blind?" (John 10:19-21).

We are faced in the above passage with an alternative - was Jesus a madman or was he the Messiah, the Son of God? In the verse we find irrefutable evidence that Jesus was certainly not "mad" as some had accused him of being. The word "mad" is from mainomai, and means "to rage" (Vine). Our common word "mania" is derived from this term. It is also used in such passages as Acts 12:15, 26:25 and First Corinthians 14:23.

But as far as the evidence as to whether or not Jesus was mad, we consider two things. First, his words were not those of a madman (text), and this was admitted by those who were wondering about it! The language of Jesus was always characterized by calmness, and was always rational and sensible. Never do we see him go into a raging tantrum that so often will characterize the madman. Even among his enemies, these unbelieving Jews, this fact was recognized. They were forced to admit "these are not the words of him that hath a devil."

Next, his deeds were not those of a adman. These same enemies were forced to the conclusion, "can a devil open the eyes of the blind?” Jesus came to heal the bodies and the minds of men - he never came to derange them as a madman might. The feeding of the hungry; the curing of the leper; the raising of the - were these the deeds of one possessed of a devil? Above all, he came instructing men as to how they could become spiritually whole.

The evidence is too plain to the effect that Jesus was not a madman. He was the Messiah; the Son of God ­precisely who he claimed to be! - Bill Moseley 

Have you noticed that nowadays there are gas pumps that talk to you? They can tell you when to turn them on and dispense the fuel, and when to turn them off. I guess that's cheaper than the gas station folks sending somebody out to your car and tell you those things in person. I even found one with a TV screen that was reporting all the local news while you paid and arm and leg for what came out of it. Or, what about the stands at the supermarket? They not only tell you what you are buying (as if you didn't know), but how much it is per pound or piece, and then how much the total price is. At least now you can feel like you are being robbed in person.

Oh, for the good old days when cash registers "clanged" instead of yakking at you! Where has the personal touch gone? I guess the one that really gets to me is when you go into an auto parts store, and the guy at the counter can't just go get the part for you. He never seems to be able to find it without consulting his electronic gadget, when you can see the part laying on the shelf right behind him! Sure would be great if people could go back to helping others again if for no other reason than the "personal touch."

Guess all these things are OK - but some of them are a pain! So just thought I would get it off my chest. Oh well, back to my computer to finish the rest of the bulletin. - Bill Moseley